Everyone come to our Carnival!  What a great way to kick off summer and help a GREAT cause!  One of our talented participants made this flyer, and it is just a TASTE of what is going to be there.  Home Decor, Baby items, Father's Day gifts, Handcrafted awesome-ness.  Don't miss it!

More News

I'm sure anyone who has adopted knows that getting any news is super exciting.  It helps us feel a little closer to him to know about his little self.  We know a little more about his health and background and it all feels more real than ever.  We know that things happen and there is always a risk of things falling through, so we are trying to stay cautiously optimistic.  But oh, that face!  I look at it every day.  And now, a picture, from a boy who couldn't be more excited to find his "lost brother:"

The likeness is uncanny, trust me ;)

An exciting week!

What a week!  We have wrapped up our homestudy paperwork, been matched with a waiting child, and applied to an agency all in one week!  We know that matches can fall through and stuff can happen, so we are trying to not get TOO excited.  But how can you not?!  This boy is adorable.  Our process is moving right along.  We are so thankful for all of the support we are getting.  If you haven't donated yet, click our button to go to our fundraising site!  We will post a picture with some more info on little Daniel soon!!

OOMAH!

Adoption is Controversial

When Hubs and I decided to adopt  internationally I had no idea how controversial it was.  Honestly, I didn't know it was controversial at all!  The further I dove in the more I learned.

There are people who feel that adopting internationally is supporting child trafficking.  Yes, it does happen. Families are sometimes told their child will get an education and have a better life if they put them up for adoption.  Because of their culture they don't understand that their children will never come back to them and that their children are basically being sold to another family on the other side of the world.

Some people argue that taking a child from their culture will harm them or scar them emotionally, that the culture will deteriorate and maybe eventually get lost.  They feel that children should have a home in the place of their birth.

As I have discovered these issues I have had to decide where I stand on them.  If I agree with them that could mean ending my adoption pursuits or sticking to domestic.  If I don't agree with them I might come across as selfish, stubborn, or naive and uneducated about the issues.  I don't want to be any of these things.  I don't want to be the bad guy. What I want to be is hope.

Hope to the child abandoned at three years old or a month old.
Hope to the child left in a pit latrine
Hope to the child who was able to go back home after her mother was too poor to care for her and left her at the orphanage, only to go back to the orphanage shortly before her mother passed away.
Hope to the mother, dying after childbirth, that someone somewhere would love her precious baby.
Those are stories about kids from ONE orphanage.  ONE.

So here is where I stand:  Every child deserves to feel loved and be safe and secure.  If they have family or extended family, help the family be able to provide for that child.  If that's not possible, find someone who can.  I am a someone who can.  I believe love and belonging outside of your culture is preferable to being institutionalized in your culture.  I believe ethical adoption is possible.  I believe that Heavenly Father wants me and my family to do this, and so we will.  And I can't wait.

Here is an article that helped me decide where I stood.  It is such a good read, and encouraging when so much of the world is telling me "don't." (Not to mention pictures and stories of those adorable kids on that government lisenced NGO orphanage website:))


http://childreninfamiliesfirst.org/international-adoptions-drastic-decline-us-government-policy-significantly-blame/

Adventure time!

It's so exciting to be on this adventure.  We are only barely starting our journey and already we have come so far and had so many ups and downs.  We are learning how difficult it really is to have an ethical adoption from Africa.  It's frustrating to know that there is so much need but so much dishonesty and corruption that it's hard to ensure you are actually helping an actual orphan.  I talked to a lady this week who found out after the fact that the little girl she had adopted was trafficked.  I think many people are attracted to adoption because they know there are needy children.  But on the other end there are people who just want to make money.  Some of these children have families and homes!  Who has the right to decided that they will have a happier life in a wealthier nation away from their family and country?  Who has the right to coerce poor parents into giving up their children?  In so many cases adoption isn't building families, it's breaking them. Many of these parents believe that their children will come home when they are grown and help the family; they don't understand what adoption means.  Obviously this is NOT what we hope to do.  We would never seek to tear apart someone else's family for our own happiness.

But we truly feel that our Heavenly Father wants us to adopt.  We know that there ARE children who need families.  So our plan has changed a little bit again.  Instead of focusing on a specific country we are watching Waiting Children lists to find a boy who will truly fit our family.  Once we finish our homestudy we can start asking more questions about them and we will go to whatever country our child is in.  Of course the system is never going to be perfect so we will do everything WE can do, and leave the rest up to our Heavenly Father.  He knows each of these children and which of them needs us.  I pray every day that he will guide our steps and help us have a good experience, grow our family, and help a child in  need.

We making good progress on our home study and have most of our paperwork collected.  I still think of little guy every day and can't wait to finally bring him home.  If you are reading this, please help it happen!  Jump on over to our fundraising site and donate!
www.youcaring.com/porterfamily

It's real!!

We handed in our first chunk of money! WHOOHOO!  All of this still doesn't quite feel real.  I can't believe we're on our way, but there's no going back now!

This is the flyer we've made to spread around. I am giving a copy to every person at my Dad's office, my ward, my parents' ward, the neighborhood I grew up in, Robert's work, various +spots around our hometowns.  I'll put them on windows, telephone poles, windshields, mail boxes, dogs, small children.  You get the idea.  Don't be surprised if YOU get one too!

Now for an adorable story.

The other night my parents took me and Muffin out to eat since Papi is out of town for work.  There was a gumball machine in the foyer, and muffin was so excited.  Grandma said he could have one after if he ate so nice.

Well, he ate his dinner all by himself: sour cream first, then beans, then the taco shell, then the meat.  While we were gathering up to go Grandma pulled a quarter out of her purse and held it out to Muffin.  "A PENNY!!" He was so excited! My mom asked him what it was for and without hesitation he said "My piggy bank! So we can save it for finding my lost brother!!!"  Well, what are you supposed to say to that?  I guess he knows we're saving and it makes my heart happy to see how excited he is to find his brother.

Oh, and he did get a gumball after all.

Dear Little Boy,

We know you are waiting for us to find you.  I think of you every hour, every day.  You have been part of our family since Heavenly Father told us to start looking for you.  Even before that I knew I wanted a little black boy to be part of our family.

We finally think we know which corner of this wide world to find you in.  I wish I could tell you " I love you.  We're coming!"  I wish I could tell your birth-mother "Thank you" for bringing you into the world for us.  I want to hug her and tell her that I will take good care of her precious boy.  I hope I find out what happened to her, why you are in an orphanage, why she had to go.

I wish I could ask her all about you too.  Where were you born? Do you look like her?  What is something important to her that I can teach you?  What were you like as a baby?  Were you a good sleeper? A snuggler?

Papi and Muffin are excited to find you too.  Muffin reminds us that we are saving money to find his "lost brother," and that's what he wants to save his pennies for too.

I try to remember that when I finally find you, you might be nervous of me.  I am a stranger, and I will be taking you away to a strange new place without all your friends and caregivers.  Even familiar sounds and smells will be left behind.  So, little boy, I will try not to be sad when you don't jump into my arms and snuggle into my neck right away.

I hope you can feel that someone is looking for you, that you will have a family again.  We're coming!!

Momma and Papi

It's a good day

Such a good day!  Of course, how can a day be bad when you fall asleep at naptime to the sound of rain on the windows? Such a cozy sound.

Also, happy news!  As I was calling around about home studies I discovered there's not much better place to get one done than good old Utah.  They cost so much less here!  1500 dollars off our adoption bill?  Don't mind if I do!

Happy new phone day to me!  Dear HTC 1, I love you

So, It's been a long time.  More than a year, in fact.  And what a year it has been!  Hubs got home from Basic and Tech School, we moved, we became foster parents, I got a job, Hubs got accepted to Grad school.  I've been busy.

The most recent twist in our journey has put us on an unfamiliar road; We are supposed to adopt a little boy.

We started doing research as soon as we knew this is what our Heavenly Father wanted us to do.  It was a more direct nudge than some others he has given us, so it was nice to know we are doing what he wants us to right now.  But there is so much to know that it is scary!  We researched countries, agencies, foreign, domestic.  For some reason we know he's a little black boy so that narrows down our options a little.  How are we supposed to find one little boy in this wide wide world?! My first thought was Haiti: there must be need after the earthquake, right?  Well, they have age restrictions that we don't meet.  So we looked at Congo, but it is really hard to get exit visas right now.  Ethiopia, Ghana, Colombia, Ecuador.  Every country we researched had something that didn't work for our family.  Finally we found it.  Uganda.

More Research.  Agencies that work with Uganda, reviews of those agencies, comparing fees, International Home Study agencies and comparing those fees, fundraising ideas, waiting children lists, becoming aware of the corruption in Uganda and finding an agency we trust to avoid it.

Long story short, this is going to be a long road and we're just a couple months in.  And it is going to be EXPENSIVE.  We have raise 1/36th of the money we will need though!  Ok, lezbehonest.  We can't do this on our own people.  We need help.  Please click the button on the top left and help us bring our Lost-Boy home!

amazed

Sara,
Thank you for sharing your talents with me.  I love this.  You amaze me


Robert,
Thank you for this gift.  I was so surprised.  I love you my honey!

Family pictures!

Okay, here are some of our family pictures taken while my honey was home! 

cow says "moo"

an epic car wreck

so, these pictures are going to sit wherever they want.  I cant seem to fix them...

happy day!

AB Porter, Robert T

Got to talk to Robert for 45 minutes today!   He is doing sooo great!   His flight is probably going to get Warrior Flight and is in the running for the PT award and Honor Flight(no flight in the history of Lackland has gotten all 3).   He got just over 9 minutes on his 1.5 mile run, the 3rd highest score on his written exam and is eligible for Honor Grad.   Only 4 people from his flight of 56 or so will get it, and if more than that qualify I'm not sure how the MTI will choose.   There is one more locker evaluation to cut down the competition, but Robert says he is sooo stinking good at rolling shirts that he rolls for other people sometimes.   So proud of him.   He asked me to bring him chocolate... Honestly, who is THAT good at BOOT CAMP!?  3 more days until I get to kiss that face!

poems...

I'm not an ARMY wife, but I still loved these poems another wife shared.  I don't know if there is any other job your husband can have that defines you as much as the Military.

The Silent Ranks 
Author: Unknown

I wear no uniforms, no blues or army greens
But I am in the Army in the ranks rarely seen
I have no rank upon my shoulders - salutes I do not give
But the military world is the place where I live
I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get
But my husband is the one who does, this I can not forget
I'm not the one who fires the weapon, who puts my life on the line
But my job is just as tough. I'm the one that's left behind
My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man
And the call to serve his country not all can understand
Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free
My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do our kids and me
I love the man I married, Soldiering is his life
But I stand among the silent ranks known as the Army Wife



“The Final Inspection”
~Author Unknown

The soldier stood and face God,
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining
Just as brightly as his brass.
‘Step forward now, Soldier,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?’
The soldier squared his shoulder and said,
‘No, Lord, I guess I ain’t.
Because those of us who carry guns
Can’t always be a saint.
I’ve had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough.
And sometimes I’ve been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.
But I never took a penny
That wasn’t mine to keep…
Though I worked a lot of overtime,
When the bills just got too steep.
And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God, forgive me,
I’ve wept unmanly tears.
I know I don’t deserve a place
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears.
If you’ve a place for me here, Lord,
It needn’t be so grand.
I never expected or had to much,
But if you don’t, I’ll understand.
There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod.
As the soldier waited quietly
For the judgment of his God.
‘Step forward now, you Soldier,
You’re borne your burdens well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven’s streets,
You’ve served your time in Hell.’

bragging time...

I got a call from the Hubs today.  It was downright therapeutic to hear his voice.  He is amazing and I am sooo proud of him.  What kind of person is actually GOOD at boot camp?!  Turns out Hubs is!

Hubs passed the basic physical training requirements for BMT at his 2 week evaluation.  He is now working towards a WarHawk, which is the highest level of honors for the PT graduation.  This award is fantastic because it means we get to spend an extra day with him over the graduation weekend.

Hubs is gaining weight!  For any of you that know him, this is significant.  He had to get a weight waiver from the doctor that performed his physical before he was allowed to join.  He has gained 20 pounds in 6 weeks, most of it muscle.  Excited to see him? Yes I am.

Hubs has always been good at school.  BMT(Basic Military Training) is no different.  He gets most of the answers right and is good at memorizing...whatever it is that Trainees have to memorize.

Since he knows the answers to the questions, Hubs has been made BEAST Monitor.  This means he is in charge of a group of guys during their deployment simulation campout of doom.  If they do well they have another chance to earn an extra town pass, so here's hoping!

He has been able to stay under the radar, besides one smiling incident and misplacing his fingernail clippers the first week.  This means that, besides those two times, he has not earned himself any extra push-ups, gotten his phone privileges taken away, or put on Latrine Duty (you do NOT want that duty!).

He flew through the obstacle course and has become a very good runner.  At his 2 week evaluation he ran 1.5 miles in 9 minutes and 40 seconds, and is just getting faster.  He is just 6 seconds behind the fastest guy in the flight.  This is awesome to me because if he is fast he gets to run at the front of the pack during the Airmans' Run(the first event of graduation weekend, and the first glimpse we get of our Airmen), which drastically improves the chance that I will be able to pick him out of the crowd.

I know that if you don't know AB Porter, than you could care less about this post.  But I really want to remember how well he has done.

And now, a sad/funny story as related to me in a letter, because Grandpa will laugh, and so will my FAJ(you know who you are :)

"Today our MTI (military training instructor) was checking people's drawers to see what we could improve on.  Well, as he was going around, all of a sudden he yells "DID A FREAKING CAT CRAP IN YOUR DRAWER?!?"  He then pulled out the skid-markedest pair of undies I have ever seen.  He then made the trainee parade them around the dorm so everyone could see them, then he made him go to the OTHER dorm across the call and show all of them, then he made him throw away his skid-marked panties(AB Porter's words, not mine! Whitey tighties are standard issue).  I haven't laughed so hard for the entire time I've been here."

Dear Skid(don't worry, no one outside those 2 dorms knows who you are) Thank you for the laugh.  It let me know that my hubs is still himself, for which I apologize.  He hasn't got an ounce of sympathy in his body.  I'm sorry for your embarrassment, the cafeteria food is not your fault.

Warm Fuzzies

The other week I waited by the phone all day for a call from my Airman.  It didn't come.  This is not really uncommon; you never know whether they will call or not.  I was sad, but I got over it and started hoping for next week.

On Monday we headed out to get some things done.  Right as we got to the store my cell phone rang.  That ring I don't hear nearly often enough.  Hub's ring tone!  Since he left, my heart jumps into my throat every time I hear it.  The call was so surprising that tears sprung to my eyes(lets be honest, it happens often.  Pregnancy will do that).  It turns out that Hub's flight had the chance to earn 10 extra minutes of phone time if they wanted to wait a few days to call.  Of course they jumped at the chance, but I had no way of knowing.

So here I was in the store for my extra-long phone call.  Muffin was getting fidgety sitting in the cart and I couldn't hear very well.  As I talked a couple in the store noticed that I was A)on an important phone call B)on the verge of tears and C) losing the battle of entertainment and distraction with Muffin.  They offered to take over his entertainment for a minute.  The showed him books and zoomed him back and forth on crazy cart rides and kept him busy for a few minutes while I finished my phone call.  They saved me!  It was just a little thing but it meant so much to be able to talk to Hubs.

When I finished I thanked them and told them that I had gotten a surprise phone call from Basic Training.  They were glad they could help and went on their way, and have probably forgotten about it by now.  But that little act of service meant the world to me.  They were at the store to get something done, but still took a few minutes to help a stranger with her hands full.

I don't remember the last time I saw someone in need.  I don't remember the last time I saw past the end of my shopping cart.  I have been pretty wrapped up and preoccupied with what is going on in my life right now.  I think that sometimes, that's ok.  My entire everything is going towards taking care of my home and family and I just don't have a lot leftover.  Maybe sometimes you serve, and sometimes you let other people serve you.  Or maybe I'm just being near-sighted...

This is us missing you!

So happy to be able to watch my boy today!  He is such a silly.  Today he was so excited to play in Grandma's  "poo-ah" with his cousin.  She got too cold after about two minutes, and Muffin decided to come in with her even though he wasn't really done.  Not ten minutes later I found him, fully clothed sitting in the wading pool.  So, I put him back in his suit and he played and played.  He found a cookie in the trunk-seat of the tricycle(from how long ago, no one knows.) and, overjoyed at his find, he belly flopped back into the pool, cookie in fist.  Then the cookie started disintegrating in his horrified hands, a sludgy mush dribbling through his fingers.  NOOO!  He gathered that sustenance his own self!  He is such a silly thing, and I love watching him discover.  Today, his facial expressions make me happy.

WEE HAW!! He likes parades...One of my favorite faces

So happy to be able to watch my boy today!  He is such a silly.  Today he was so excited to play in Grandma's  "poo-ah" with his cousin.  She got too cold after about two minutes, and Muffin decided to come in with her even though he wasn't really done.  Not ten minutes later I found him, fully clothed sitting in the wading pool.  So, I put him back in his suit and he played and played.  He found a cookie in the trunk-seat of the tricycle(from how long ago, no one knows.) and, overjoyed at his find, he belly flopped back into the pool, cookie in fist.  Then the cookie started disintegrating in his horrified hands, a sludgy mush dribbling through his fingers.  NOOO!  He gathered that sustenance his own self!  He is such a silly thing, and I love watching him discover.  Today, his facial expressions make me happy.

WEE HAW!! He likes parades...One of my favorite faces

Very long post!

Hello world!  It's been so long.  But I'm still here, and still happy.

So it turns out that 6 months can bring about a boatload of unexpected changes.  We didn't expect hubs to lose his job (the one we moved for) after just two months.  We didn't expect he would end up working on a concrete crew either.  But I think the biggest thing I have had to deal with is Hubs joining the Air Force Reserve.

When my cousin's husband joined the Air Force, I thought they were down-right crazy.  I didn't even understand HOW someone could A) send their husband off to basic and tech school for 6 months and B) know that they would face extended time alone again for deployment.  Then our friend joined the Air Force and left when his new baby was just a couple months old.  I didn't know how his wife would EVER cope and I felt so bad for her.  I was so glad that was something I would never have to do.  My husband has glasses, so I knew he'd never fly, and he wasn't an engineer either.  Safe and sound, together on the ground.

NOPE!  After my husband lost his job and was unable to find steady work for so long, we started realizing we were in a tight spot and were never going to be able to face his student debt, to say nothing of one day getting to grad school.  The stress of wondering where the money was going to be coming from really started to wear Hubs down, and he decided that if he was going to get the education he wanted then he better figure out a way to pay for it SOON.  Enter the Air Force.

At first I didn't think he was serious, just putting out feelers.  He did some research, talked to a recruiter, talked to his friend a bit, and told me he was really thinking about it.  He decided the Reserve was the way to go for him, and I had a really hard time accepting it.  Yes, we would have insurance for the first time in our married lives.  Yes, they would pay for school.  Yes, the signing bonus would help us pay off our debt.  Yes, we would still be in Utah because Reservists are expected to keep their full time jobs and only work one weekend a month.  No, there was very little chance of him getting deployed.  But he still had to go to basic and tech school and would be gone 8 months.

One morning I was laying in bed, listening to Muffin starting to stir, and I just started crying.  How was I supposed to do this on my own?  Who would I tag-team with on hard days?  Who would wash the pans for me when my back was just too sore?  Who would hold my hand while I watched TV?  Would I ever cook or do laundry if he didn't come home hungry?  What would be the point of going home be if no one cared that I was there?  I had prayed he wouldn't pass the physical, but they gave him a waiver for his weight(hubs is built like an Ecuadorian see, not very big).  I hoped he wouldn't do well on the ASVAB, but he got in the 92nd percentile.  Maybe, just maybe, there wouldn't be a position open at our base.  There was.  Everything was working out so perfectly that I couldn't deny that this was what we were supposed to be doing.  But how could I?  I was whining and crying to my Heavenly Father and feeling quite broken-hearted when a hymn came into my head.  I've often sung to comfort myself, but this song came on it's own: first the soothing melody, and then the strengthening words.

Fear not, I am with thee oh be not dismayed.  
I am thy God, and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand.


I couldn't remember all the words, or which order they went in, but these words were in my head all day "Fear not, I am with thee.  As thy days may demand so they succor shall be."  Does Heavenly Father know me and what I need?  I think so.  Was he listening to me that morning?  Yes, I do believe he was.

I wrote the words on my mirror and started saying them to myself whenever I got anxious.  We decided it would be a good idea for me to go back to school while Hubs was gone so I would have something to keep me occupied.  Miraculously(though I didn't know it at the time) I was able to get an apartment near school much bigger than I needed, for much less rent.  My sisters are also going to the same school, and my dad suggested that they come live with me so I wouldn't be so lonely.  Since I had a big apartment that worked out great all the way around.  I was starting to feel like I could do this.

Less than two months before Hubs left for basic training, we found out I was pregnant.  We had been trying for soo long without ANY success that I had just figured that we'd start worrying about it and figuring out the problem when he got home from basic.  I didn't know whether to cheer or cry.  I quickly did some math and figured he would leave right after I started throwing up, and get home a few weeks after my due date.  He would miss the whole pregnancy.  The heartbeats, the ultrasounds, the kicks and punches, the weird cravings, all of it.  I was heartbroken. Again.  But, my sisters would be there to help when I wasn't feeling great and to be the support system I would so desperately need.  Lucky I had an apartment big enough for them to live with me.

When the morning sickness hit I was so sick I was flat on the couch.  I had a really hard time just getting Muffin out of bed and fed.  My mom suggested I call the OB where I was (a new one, since we had moved for Hub's job) and see if I could get some medicine for the nausea.  I did, and that was fine, but that wasn't the tender mercy part of the story.

Since I was a new patient, they would give me the medicine but I had to come into the office for an appointment.  That was fine, as I was eager to hear Squeaky's little heart beating and confirm my due date.  At the end of the appointment the Dr said "well, lets see you again in a month and do an ultrasound.  We can work out a day your husband can come."  Poor doctor.  Who would choose to deal with hormonal women all day every day?  Well anyway, I started to cry.  I told him that my husband was leaving for basic training in a couple weeks and would be gone the whole pregnancy.  Much to my surprise, the Dr. slapped his hand down and said "Ya know, my first baby was born while I was at Basic too, and it's no fun at all.  We're doing an ultrasound today so Dad can have a picture at least!"  It made all the difference in the world to have him say that.  Just to have someone else that had experienced the same thing and could do something to make it a little easier.  The Lord surely watches out for us.

So, here I am in my big new apartment.  There are no cockroaches.  I have Muffin here with me, fast asleep, and I have Squeaky, not much more than a bean with a heartbeat.  And I know it will be hard.  I know I will cry a few more times in this coming week and at the airport.  But I also know that I will be ok.  I know it because Heavenly Father hasn't left me here alone.  He has been with me every step of this journey.  So I will write letters for eight months, and take pictures every day.  I will wear my f16 on my backpack to school.  I will be an AirForce widow for just a little while, and I will love my Airman.

a POST!?

Painting Eggs was lots of fun!

Edgar spiked his off the floor when he was done...

No time for a picture! I've gotta get those eggs!

Finding eggs all by himself.

The chickens were the most exciting thing he had ever seen. 

It's impossible to open!

Another egg hunt with Grandma Pratt

                                                   Hilarious video here

Too much Easter fun!