Monday, February 28, 2011

at a loss...

We all have those moments as Moms, right?  Just when we think we are getting the hang of things, everything falls apart.  I am at one of those points now.  I was happy in my safe little world: bottle, naps, and happy in between.  Quiet at bed time, sleeping through the night.  Then, all of the sudden, one day, every routine EXPLODES.  My little guy thinks he is too big for bottles.  He keeps himself awake crawling around and standing in his crib.  I never know when he is hungry anymore, and it seems like I can't feed him enough baby food because he wakes up hungry in the night.  He is SO mobile, so he bonks his head or falls over often.  I feel like for a while there I was doing really well with all my balls in the air: laundry, dishes, baby, husband.  But as soon as one ball falls, ALL of them do.  I'm tired and sore because the baby doesn't sleep as well.  The kitchen is a mess and the laundry behind because I just can't make myself do anything when I am weary.  Then come the feelings of inadequacy because I'm falling behind.  Does  this sound familiar to anyone else?  I just don't know what to do to get back on track!  So, I guess I'll just keep on keepin' on and hope we fall back into a routine sometime soon. 

This post is really a reminder to myself.  A reminder to not dull the beauty of the fantastic things in my life by beating myself up.  Yes. There are toys all over.  And burp rags.  And piles of books I have had to quickly evict from their home on the coffee table.  But it has been so fun to watch my little guy figure out crawling, feeding himself, and standing. I LOVE the mischievous look in his eyes that tells me he has discovered something and he plans to get there before I can.  So today, I choose to enjoy.  Enjoy nap time.  Enjoy the toys.  Enjoy the mischief.  Dishes?  There will always be dishes.  My little muffin won't be little forever so I'm going to put my worries about inadequacy aside and soak in all his cuteness.