Thursday, March 27, 2014

Adoption is Controversial

When Hubs and I decided to adopt  internationally I had no idea how controversial it was.  Honestly, I didn't know it was controversial at all!  The further I dove in the more I learned.

There are people who feel that adopting internationally is supporting child trafficking.  Yes, it does happen. Families are sometimes told their child will get an education and have a better life if they put them up for adoption.  Because of their culture they don't understand that their children will never come back to them and that their children are basically being sold to another family on the other side of the world.

Some people argue that taking a child from their culture will harm them or scar them emotionally, that the culture will deteriorate and maybe eventually get lost.  They feel that children should have a home in the place of their birth.

As I have discovered these issues I have had to decide where I stand on them.  If I agree with them that could mean ending my adoption pursuits or sticking to domestic.  If I don't agree with them I might come across as selfish, stubborn, or naive and uneducated about the issues.  I don't want to be any of these things.  I don't want to be the bad guy. What I want to be is hope.

Hope to the child abandoned at three years old or a month old.
Hope to the child left in a pit latrine
Hope to the child who was able to go back home after her mother was too poor to care for her and left her at the orphanage, only to go back to the orphanage shortly before her mother passed away.
Hope to the mother, dying after childbirth, that someone somewhere would love her precious baby.
Those are stories about kids from ONE orphanage.  ONE.

So here is where I stand:  Every child deserves to feel loved and be safe and secure.  If they have family or extended family, help the family be able to provide for that child.  If that's not possible, find someone who can.  I am a someone who can.  I believe love and belonging outside of your culture is preferable to being institutionalized in your culture.  I believe ethical adoption is possible.  I believe that Heavenly Father wants me and my family to do this, and so we will.  And I can't wait.

Here is an article that helped me decide where I stood.  It is such a good read, and encouraging when so much of the world is telling me "don't." (Not to mention pictures and stories of those adorable kids on that government lisenced NGO orphanage website:))