Compromises I make in the name of Productivity: a Haiku

Compromises I make in the name of Productivity

While the baby plays in the kennel

I can load the dishwasher

Kinda gross, but I get things done

read at your own risk...

My sister-in-law recently wrote a paper for her high school english class.  It was a short, fiction story about the worst day she had ever had.  The following story is non-fiction in it's entirety, and may be just a little worse.

Today, I woke up to my husband putting his hand on my arm. "It's almost 8:00 babe."  Guh.  Only an hour to be at church.  "What happened to the alarm?" I asked with concern.  Sunday mornings are always rushed; good thing I bathed the baby last night.

I changed Muffin's diaper, got his breakfast and went to do my hair.  Hubs made us some toast and eggs for breakfast and I came out to eat just as the baby put a handful of hot cereal on his head.  *sigh* So much for the bath.  We were going to be late. 

Once I bathed the baby and handed him off to hubs to dress, I had to rush to get dressed myself.  I finished my makeup and got my church bag and we rushed off to church.  We were 15 minutes late and..."why are there no cars here?"  Oh great, Stake Conference!  Well, we missed the Saturday session, but we were at the church now, and in time to get a good seat.  I was willing to celebrate the small victories. 

While hubs saved a seat, I tried to wear Muffin down so he'd sit still during the meeting.  We walked and walked, and once the meeting started he was doing really great: eating cheerios, reading his book.  We made it through three talks without a hitch.  Every Momma's dream meeting!  Then, during the rest hymn, Muffin pulled the "get out of the Chapel free card."  He pooped his pants. 

Ok, no big deal.  That's what toddlers do.  Well, he is teething, and for Muffin, that means diarrhea.  By the time we smelled the dirty deed, there were already juices leaking onto his brand-clean, oh so adorable, tiny white Sunday Shirt.  Hubs just had to point and gag, and I was outta there.  By the time we got to the bathroom and the changing table, it was bad.  I just stood him there and started peeling off his shirt.  Some other poor mom with a whiny kid realized her day wasn't quite as bad as she may have thought, and compassionately slid me the garbage can with a sympathetic smile.  

I started at the shoulder blades and worked down, one wet wipe at a time.  I finally thought I had the punk clean enough to lay him down and actually take the diaper off, but laying him down sent poop up his back once again.  I eventually got HIM all cleaned up, and then I managed to clean off the changing table AND the lid of the garbage can without him "helping."  Now, what to do with the clothes?

Eventually, I led my nearly-naked son to the Custodian's Closet and found a garbage bag for the soiled outfit.  Then I gathered up the baby, the garbage bag, and what was left of the wipes and headed out to the car.  Surely this was as good an excuse as any to just go home.  Hubs could get a ride home, right?

Fantastic!  No keys.

Well, now what?!  I couldn't walk home.  And my pride hurt too much to take Muffin and what was left of his church outfit back into the room where there were tons of people and THE PROPHET WAS SPEAKING just for keys.  Granted, it was just a video conference and President Monson wasn't actually there, but what about all the people?  The old people in that chilly chapel would surely judge me for bringing my baby to church in only socks and a diaper, and there was no way to tell them what REALLY happened!  How could I subject myself to such assumptions? 

We spent the duration of the meeting in the hall.  Muffin thought it was the best day at church he had ever experienced: nude, playing, not having to sit quietly.  Then, during the closing song, I remembered the diaper explosion nestled in a bed of used paper towels lurking in the Ladies bathroom.  ACK!! That was going to sit there for nearly a WEEK before church cleaning day.  And oh, those poor people who were in charge of emptying the trash.  I didn't feel like I could do that to a poor, unsuspecting, servant of God volunteering their Saturday to prepare the church for next week's meetings.  What to do, what to do? I couldn't take out the trash with Muffin's help.

Well, I hurriedly decided to clean up after myself like my Mom taught me, which meant taking the naked baby back to hubs.  Embarrassment!  Humiliations galore!  At least the Prophet wasn't still speaking, although I'm sure he would have understood.  I rushed back to the custodian's closet, grabbed what I hoped was the right size of bag, and took the garbage out to the dumpster.  I was back by the end of the closing prayer and we rushed right out of there. 

Finally, safely at home, I scrubbed poop out of clothes while Hubs made a quick lunch.  I sat down to the meal with a sigh of relief, glad the fiasco was over.  We prayed over the food and just as we started eating, Muffin put a handful of baked beans on his head. 

what a NOOB!

Hello again!

Hello again world! It's been a long time.  We've had a busy and exciting summer.  I'm not going to try and sum it all up, but here's some pics.  I've been playing around with Picnic and love it!  What do you think?

All the pumpkins!!

This one is film

no editing. I liked it just the way it was!

ah summer, how I'll miss thee.

We went to Bear Lake over the weekend and it was autumn up there.  I thought it was because we were farther up in the mountains, but no.  It is fall here in Logan too.  I love the crisp mornings and to feel the sun filtering through a cool breeze.  I love jacket weather!  I love thinking about Halloween and deciding what to dress up as (Yes, I AM an adult that still dresses up).  I love pumpkin pie and peach dessert and hot cider.  I love to see the leaves changing colors and putting an extra blanket on the bed. But here's the thing...

Winter always comes next. Slush, and wet pant hems, and frozen ears, and smog.  The only time during the winter I am warm is in bed or in the shower.  And in Logan  it. lasts. six. months. GUH!

But lets not think about that right now.  Lets think about crunchy leaves and candy corns and beautiful shelves of newly canned peaches and crocheting new hats and football and hoodies.  mmm.

my family rocks

Silly me!  I threw my back out last week.  Man oh man, has my family stepped up.  I called my mom at 6:30 and she drove an hour to come to my rescue.  She took care of the baby all day and found me a chiropractor. My brother-in-law and husband fended for themselves for a couple days till I was back in the game.  For two days, I felt GREAT!  I even went camping.  It was not to last.  Last night my back slipped out again.  It was so bad I think it was making me physically ill.  Either that or I just happened to get food poisoning at the same time (Rotten luck!)  At 7:30 this morning when the baby started crying, I dropped a bottle in his crib and went back to bed.  I sent one text and within 10 minutes, my cousins were feeding and changing the baby and my hubs was pulling me off the bathroom floor and taking me to the chiropractor. 

I feel much better now, but plan on taking it a little easier this time.  Thanks family!  Its so great to have someone to call when I fall apart.

Oh summer...

It's been so long since I wrote anything!  We have been enjoying a fantastically busy summer.  The baby loves to go swimming, so we have done that a few times.  Last weekend we got to go up to my favorite place in the world: the ranch. 

My family has a reunion in Salmon Idaho, and it is SO nice.  We went 4- wheeling, horseback riding, shooting, and helped train a horse. 

This week we are down south visiting my Husband's parents.  We went Craw-dadding at the lake today.  I can't lie, I did my fair bit of squealing.  Those pinchy monsters are gross!  Plus, one time I grabbed one that had just molted it's hard shell and my thumb went through it.  GAH! 

Pictures to come: I'm not home and also, I've been using the film.  But they're great.  You can bet on that.

I love vacations.  Some of the best memories I have are of family vacations.  They definetly make me a happy momma.

SICK!

100 ways to leave a game-show is sick-crazy.  I think I may have a new addiction

Daddy's day....

I love my dad.

He made sure I knew how to take care of myself.  He taught me to unclog drains, check the oil in my car, start a fire, and work hard.  When I was single he always made sure I was eating well and taking care of myself when we talked on the phone.  Now that I am married, more than once I have been shopping in his storage room.

He taught me to have fun: he took us camping, canoeing, gave us underdogs, and took us on the best vacations ever.  When we were little he built us a playground in the backyard that was the envy of the whole neighborhood. We got to go to mountain man rendezvous, swimming at pools his company built, rappelling off the side of his office building.  One year, he carved his pumpkin from the bottom so he could stick it on his head.  He has won water fights and cheezeball stuffing contests.  He makes pumpkin sculptures and dresses up for halloween.  Even long car trips were okay cause we had his made-up license plate game.

My dad is proud of me and loves me.  When I was in China he put up a picture of me on the OUTSIDE of his office door, so that everyone else could see how cool I was.  Now he puts up pictures of my baby, and asks for new ones.  He and my mom frame things us kids have drawn and put them in their house.

I love my dad.  He is the coolest dad of all the game!

oh sweat....how I loathe thee

So, I know i'm supposed to  exercise and drink a lot of water and all that jazz.  But here's the truth: I am not good at those things.  Luckily, my near-by cousin is a little more motivated than me and we have been working out together.  Here's our schedule so far:

Day 1: get shredded by Jillian Michaels*
Day 2: Healing Yoga for aches and Pains
Day 3: Shredded again*
Day 4: didn't get out of bed.  Bought work out clothes.
WEEKEND
Day 5: playdate at work out time....help children develop socially
Day 6: Shredded.*
*getting shredded is always followed by a nap.  It doesn't warn you about that on the cover.

GUH! I don't know how some people enjoy it so.  I am hoping that I will at least get used to it.  Probably I will get the abs jillian promises, only to have them ripped apart again the next time I get pregnant.  Boo.  I'm going to go eat ice cream

Family Photos...

I had so much fun with my cousin and her family last weekend!  She was brave enough to let me practice on them and we got some great shots.  And the baby was so good! 

Hey Bob, let me know if you like one style more than another and I will re-edit them.  Just want to make sure you like what you get on the CD

having fun!

got this puppy

riding with Papi

I am loving this camera!  You have to take them a lot differently than with a digital camera and I need a little practice not cutting peoples legs off...but I'm having so much fun!

hair-do winner of the zoo

silly cousins

proud momma...

So, I had this one other picture from the photo shoot the other day that I really loved

Super cute, but I hate that truck!  I was willing to chalk it up to a lesson learned about staging, but then a photographer friend of mine told me about super secret called "cloning tool."  Ok, maybe it was only super secret to me.  SO, I decided to try it out and see what I could do.  Here's what I came up with:

Not too shabby, eh?  I feel so super proud of myself for that.

Also, my house is clean.  Floors mopped and everything(right up until that closed bedroom door)
ALSO, the dishes are done.  Even the pans!
ALSO also, hubs already has clean work clothes and socks for next week.

All of that with a cranky baby!

GO ME!

I do love a good day.

photo shoot!

I took out my Grandpa's film SLR(minolta xd 11) and went for a walk with my boys.  We all had so much fun!  Here are some of my favorites.

trying so hard to escape!

He's not all about sitting still

Isn't he handsome?

ps, I linked this post up to "look what I found Friday" over at vintage revivals.  Here's the camera I used

coupons?

SO, the fad thing to do right now is COUPONING, right?  What I"M wondering, is if all people who embark on the coupon journey end up like this guy.  Will couponing drive me TOTALLY bonkers?  Cause that's what it sounds like is happening to him.  Is it worth it?  Could I save 500 dollars on groceries or is this a big myth?  I don't want to attempt it if it's going to be heinously hard.  I'd love to hear from current couponers and get some tips and see if I need to jump on this bandwagon.

YAY!

I LOVE today!  Shorts, sandals, sunblock, strollers, and SUNSHINE!!  Hopefully sun-tan lines to follow soon.  Took muffin and Hunk swimming and had SO much fun!  Muffin loved it!  So splashy!  He didn't even complain that it was a little chilly since the pool was in the shade. 

On days like this I am amazed that I get to live on this earth.  Heavenly Father is so amazing!  The little things baffle me on days like today.  Like the grass turning from brown, back to green.  The flowers popping their little heads up through ground packed hard from months of freezing snow.  Tiny new leaves on the trees.  HOW does he DO that?! It just reminds me of His Awesome power and his tender mercies.  After the barren dreariness of a long winter, seeing the tulips makes me think of spring as a reminder of what Heaven is like.  A tiny taste of Eden, just for me. 

Mom...

I am the poop-checker.
The nose wiper.
I'm the one who gets snot and spit-up all over myself.
I stick my finger in tiny slobbery mouths to fish out choking hazards.
I change the sheets when pee and blowouts soak through diapers and pajamas.
I get up in the middle of the night and can make bottles in my sleep.
I make weird faces when I try to feed mush to the baby.
I clean the mush out of the babies toes, ears, hair, etc.
GROSS! Why didn't anyone ever tell me THAT part of being a mom?

Because, that's not what being a mom is really about.

It's about finally seeing that face you've been thinking of for months and months.  It's about neck snuggles, first smiles and laughs.  It's about the feeling you get when your baby leans out and reaches for you.  It's about getting to do for HIM all the things my mom did for me.

She taught me how to crack an egg.  I always got to help stir and dump, and I even had my own tiny apron.
She taught me how to make home made bread.
She taught me that you don't have to grow out of being silly and having fun.
She taught me that prayers get answered.
She put diapers on my dollies and pop in my teapot.
She taught me how to whistle.  LOUD.
She taught me that you were only pulling weeds the right way if you're fingers were getting dirty.
She didn't get mad when I pulled things that WEREN"T weeds.
She taught me that the bathroom was not clean if there were still "furries and dusties" on the baseboard behind the toilet(that one took a long time for me)
She taught me that your siblings should be your best friends.
She showed me what it REALLY meant to be a Visiting Teacher.
She taught me that it always turns out ok in the end if you rely on the Lord.

How, oh how, can I measure up?  I want so badly to be a good mom, and I really am trying.  It's a good thing I have the best example ever.  Thanks Mom.

Looks like I'm doin' alright so far!

Brilliance in a box!

Once upon a time, I had a genius idea to make myself a tiny little garden box.  Ya know, try to pretty up my poor white trash yard a little bit.  I thought it was such a great idea that I needed to brag just a little bit, since it was for FREEE!

FIRST, I scavenged a pallet (it wasn't IN the dumpster, just by it)

She's not much to look at, but just look at how BIG it is!  Its a good sized pallet, eh?

Then I went ahead and ripped off the bracing boards on the...top(?)of the pallet.  Cause they were ug of course! And I wanted a box, not a pallet so that was the most obvious course of action.

The box was a little bit shallow, so I took some of the boards I ripped off and used them to make the box deeper.

Then I just crammed some of the same leftover boards on the ends and POOF! D.U.N  done.  Please don't judge me for having a white trash yard...it's the next apartment's junk.

Its just BEGGING for dirt and veggies, don't you think?  Now, all I need is some dirt...

still kickin!

Hey everyone, I'm not dead!  This past week has been crazy busy.  But I am NOT dead.  The good news of the week is that the graduation packet is in!  WOOT!

Best day EVER!

DISCLAIMER: there are no pictures with this post.

So, one day (it was today) I got to drop off the baby with my sister and spend some time with my Hunky Hubs.  I went with him to his symposium(I know.  It just makes your skin tingle to read the word, huh?), and everyone presented in only Spanish(I am NOT bilingual).  But it was ok to be bored, cause my husband was better looking than anyone else in that room, and I got to just sit and look at him for a while.  So that was pretty nice. 

The best thing happened after, when we went to pick up Muffin.  There was my sister, and there was Muffin...with no pants.  It happens often at home(the little nudist!) but I try to keep him dressed when I take him out.  I KNOW he had pants on when I dropped him off.  My sister had her grossed out face on.  Apparently my sister's (sorta) boyfriend was there, holding my kid, being gallant and impressive and Muffin PEED ALL OVER HIM! Bahaha!  Wow.  Sorry about your shirt strange man. 

Pinewood Derby

Our ward is having a pinewood derby.  My husband got totally stoked about it, so we decided to do one.  After some consideration, I decided that I was going to carve mine to look like this:

SA-WEET!

My husband went on a google quest for tips to making the best car. Google said to bake the block to remove moisture and, consequently, weight.  We forgot it was in the oven... Apparently leaving a block of wood in the oven for 4 hours does the same thing it would to a pan of brownies.  Rock hard and  IMPOSSIBLE  TO CARVE!  After 3 hours with a pocket knife, my work of art was well on it's way to looking like an automobile.  It was shaped like this

That's almost more like a BelAir shape than a block of wood shape, eh? I have blisters on my hands and wood shavings everywhere!  They seriously put these projects in the hands of 9 year-olds?!  GAH!  It MUST be easier if you don't bake the block, right?  Whittling with a pocket knife always looked so easy in the movies.

All I can say is, I better win that race.

HILARIOUS baby with a lemon...

oh thanks, I needed something to distract me while you were making dinner

WHOA! What WAS that?

How could you DO something like that to me?!

Actually, that was kinda good.

Maybe I'll try another bite

YUP! It's still sour!

So, Muffin got a hold of this Lemon after it missed the garbage when I tossed it(Let it be known that I am no baller).  He packed it around and chewed on it for about a half hour.  He really liked it, even though it was SUPER sour!  That sour face is priceless!

Mommas against domestic violence!

Hey Mommas.  Up here in Logan there's a 5-k this weekend to raise money for CAPSA, an abuse prevention agency.  We're trying to raise money for our team(though it all goes to CAPSA) and have created a fun little place to vote and donate.  Even if you can't donate, go vote on the AWESOME paintings! CLICK HERE TO DO IT. 
Love and stuff...

SPOILER: a crying post!

I'm so sad today.  Life isn't fair.  Last week my friends sister died of Leukimia at 20 years old.  This week my cousin lost his brand new baby boy at 10 days old.  I almost feel guilty to be alive when this other, better daughter got taken home.  I feel guilty to have a perfect healthy baby boy, like i'm almost rubbing Muffin in my cousin's face if I try to tell him how sorry I am.  My heart just aches for them.  And there is nothing I can do.  There's nothing I can do to make it hurt less.  There's nothing I can do to even hold the heartache for them for a little while.  I can't tell them I know how they feel, or can even imagine.  So I did what I have always done; I tried to get all my crying out while I wrote.  Then I have a place to put that heartache down for a little while so I can go on with life.  So, here's what I came up with.  I think I will give it to my cousin:

Not enough time to say ‘hello’ before having to say ‘goodbye.’
Not enough time to kiss and hold and look at that little guy.
Not enough time for him to learn to smile or crawl or talk
Not enough time for binkies, long nights or warm spring walks.
Not enough time to feel the sunshine kissing his baby face
There just wasn’t near enough time before he had to leave this place.
And while it breaks my heart to feel like I didn’t get enough time
I know he’s not too far away and that he’ll always be mine.
A beautiful gift from a loving God, who also lost a Son
And a loving brother who gave his life so this death could be overcome.
So I’ll pull my strength from the other side where Ethan’s waiting until I come
I’ll pull my strength from knowing that I’ll still get to raise my son

WHAT?!

Aw peas.  I think my muffin said his first word.  Isn't it supposed to be "mommy"
or "daddy" or "tig" (his tigger).  No. No sir.  Not THIS boy.  His first word is the DOGS NAME! What a little stink fish pot.  Of course,  the dog has loved the boy THIS much from the day we brought him home.  But REALLY? Gus? That's your first word son?

Yikes!

I can't decide if I am super excited or scared out of my mind.  All of the sudden I realized that my husband is only months away from that ever out-of-reach bachelors degree.  We have gotten so used to this basement apartment, poor college student with a kid lifestyle, that this is where we feel safe.  Now what?  He has to go find a REAL career!  I have no idea where life is going to take us in the next year.  Will we stay here? Get a job far away?  Get a job at all?  Have to go back to school?  I know that my husband is a talented genius.  But will some Multi Billion dollar international business guru realize his cultural and linguistic talents?  BAH! 

These are the times when I have to remind myself that my life is in the Lord's hands.  No matter what happens, I know that things will be okay.  So, Momma, take a deep breath.  Don't stress out about things you can't control.  Remember to enjoy and learn where you are right now! 

heartbroken...

A family in our ward just lost their daughter to leukemia at 20 years old.  She has been fighting for about two years.  She went peacefully, with no pain(in the end).  She was able to see her brother come home from his mission two weeks ago.  I am heartbroken for this family.  As a mom myself I can't imagine losing a daughter.  To watch her suffer for so long and fight so hard.  I know that she is happy now, and not sick anymore.  I know she is no longer tied  to a hospital bed, but running like she loved.  But it's still sad.  And it makes me realize how much I have to cherish every day.  Even the teething days, or the missed nap days, or the up three times in the night days.  My son is the greatest gift I have been given.  Since we never know what is going to happen or when, I'm going to rock my little guy a little longer tonight.  I'll squeeze him tighter and kiss him more.  I'll thank the Lord for him more often and soak up every gummy grin.  Curse you Red Robot, but thanks for reminding me how precious life is.

Story time...

When I was a little girl my grandma had book about a little blue ghost.  Well, all the pictures were in blue ink.  See how cute?

Every night at the same time he gave the loose board on the stairs a little creak.

Anyway,  every night at the same time he gave the loose board on the stairs a little creak and the parlor door a little squeak to remind the Whittakers that it was time to go to bed. 

I need a Georgie in my attic.

I need a Georgie to remind me to switch the laundry to the dryer.

I need a Georgie to remind me to start the dishwasher. 

To feed the dog, get the mail, vacuum before the baby finds bits of junk on the floor, that I left something on the stove when I went to take the dog food from the baby, my own phone number.  For Heaven's sake, I need a reminder to eat lunch!

Does this happen to ANYONE else?  I feel like I am too young to have had my brain fall out. 

The good news is, I still know my name.  Some days that's all I can say for myself.

WOOT! Reveal time!

I am so excited about my new bookshelf!  I have been wanting one for sometime, but if you want one that's not going to fall apart when you move it then they are expensive! So when I saw this on the Nate Berkus "No money Makeovers" segment, I was pretty stoked.  Now, mine was not quite so free as Nate's, since I have no wine crates available to me.  BUT I was able to get some old apple crates from an orchard.  I had to pay 5$ a piece and clean them up, but in the end it is much more sturdy and awesome than this high quality product.  This Momma LOVES getting quality for a stellar price. Plus it's lightweight and OH-SO shabby-posh.  And who doesn't like that?!  So, ladies, here she is!

Member the guitar case? And see my new phone too?  It totally works!

I personally think it turned out even better than the one on TV!  Oh, and sorry about the laundry going on in the background.  But lets just not pretend with each other, k?

AND, I am totally linking this post up to Tea Rose Home.  I feel famous when I get visitors from over there.  If you are one of them, WELCOME, and feel free to follow if you like what you see!

One day...

One day, I will have a house and a yard I can do anything with that I want.

One day I will come up with a way to get the baby to hold still during diaper changes.

One day, Logan will be warm again.

One day, I will be as cool as Mandi from Vintage Revivals AND figure out how to do all that crafty brilliant stuff with a baby/toddler helping me :)

see how helpful?

One day I will figure out how to either make money doing something I love, or just be able to magically afford doing things I love without feeling guilty about spending money.

One day, I will be confident enough to wear things I like without worrying that I look stupid. 


One day, I will finish this dang couch project!

One day I will remember that RedBox is only cheaper if you actually only have the movie for one day.

One day, I will fall in love with every vegetable.

One day I will not accidentally murder every seed I plant.

One day, I will keep the table cleaned off AND the sink empty for two days in a row( I can't seem to handle both)

One day, I will travel. 

One day, I will be able to suppress my excitement and actually give my husband the perfect gift ON his birthday!


Today, I will unload the dishwasher.  I will put in a batch of laundry.  I will throw the tennis ball for the dog, write, and keep dangerous/valuable objects away from my baby all at the same time.  I will eat a banana and some whole grains for breakfast.  I will shower.  I will pick up toys, make bottles, change wiggly bums, drink a lot of glasses of water.  I will nap instead of exercise because I am too dang congested to be bouncing around and acting energetic.  I will remember that I really love my baby and he is only being naughty because he doesn't feel good either.  I will write down the awesome project ideas that I get so I can save them for the day I don't need a nap when Muffin does.  I will make my husband laugh, and probably feed him dinner.  I will wait patiently(without whining) until he gets home and I can watch Biggest Loser. I will rejoice in the fact that I get to stay home with my handsome little guy and watch every discovery he makes.  I will enjoy every moment and not dwell on what MIGHT happen one day.